Posted by: MrJoseph45 | March 27, 2010

Optimal Disappointment

As I was getting ready to turn in, something on TV caught my attention.  It appears that Cinemax is about to continue on their trend of disappointing summer movies of last year, starting with X-Men Origins: Wolverine (which I still haven’t seen yet), continuing with Terminator: Salvation (which I still haven’t seen yet), and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (which I sadly have seen and own).  Words can’t express the magnitude of disappointment I have in what transgressed in that movie.  I’ll try, but I honestly don’t think it’ll be good enough.

In watching the first movie, I was awestruck at how they turned my favorite fighting robots into a live action extravaganza the likes of which even Michael Bay couldn’t mess up.   The dialogue was witty, the action was intense, the music was booming and the story…well, the story could’ve been better.  You don’t go to see a movie like Transformers for the story, though; you go to see giant robots beat each other to a pasty metal pulp.

I’ll let you think about that one for a second.

Moving on, I figured the second one would be more of the same, featuring more giant robots beating each other senseless, stellar music, witty dialogue and a piecemeal story.  What I got was so much worse, and that really hurt my feelings.  Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, the minds behind the first movie and Star Trek – the movie of the year in my opinion – really threw the kitchen sink at this one.  They listened to the fans and gave them what they wanted; lots of Transformers mythos and lots of giant robot fighting that didn’t look like it was put together in a blender.  Well, we got it, but we might wanna be careful what we ask for.

It’s almost as if they decided to slam different parts of the history together and see what stuck.  The Matrix of Leadership being used to power a weapon that would destroy an entire planet?  Okay…that makes no sense.  Robots humping human legs like feral dogs?  That makes even less sense.  Ghetto robots?!  Makes about as much sense as a football bat.

I’ll let you think about that one for a second, too.

It is my sincere hope that the third movie is done better than the last one, because it pains me to think about how it could get any worse.

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